Friday, 14 February 2014

Time changes all things.

Scissors in hand ready to snip off a dead plant head, a pleasure she can no longer enjoy.

Well hello again, I am not getting the time to sit and blog, as I thought I might, for as each day passes, I see the small changes in mum, changes that mean she needs more care more often, simple things that she was capable of doing pre Christmas are now becoming harder for her, making my job a little more labor intensive. She seems no longer able  to wander far even with her walker, the pain in her hip and knees prevent that little pleasure, the medication she is on to ease the pain causes her to sleep more through the day, but less of a night, for her bed to some degree is her enemy, when she turns to find a comfy spot the pain is great and so keeps her awake, then the pressure on heels and elbows brings the new and ever present threat of pressure/bed sores, something that we just don't need, being that we are battling leg ulcers, how very sad.
 Watching a loved one or anyone age is a heart wrenching thing, I know I battle some days with missing my home and family, or repeating a spoken word over and louder for mum to hear, or the hunting for a missing pair of glasses, that all the time were sitting " just there " where she said they were not, but for the bad days there are more good days, with special memories being made, I must write the funny moments down so they are not lost forever from my memory ( note to self ).

Taken about 18 months ago with my daughter and my granddaughters.

 Mum or Molly or spide ( short for spider bum ) as her siblings and friends referred to her, is a mother to 7 children, 5 girls and 2 boys ( the spoiled ones ) as we girls like to call them, she grew up in country Australia, lost her mum at a very young age, 7 if my memory serves me, worked hard, suffered asthma and terrible varicose veins as a young woman  that worsened as a  mother.

Mum is the most gentle soul I have ever met, she is a devout Catholic, still to this day saying her Rosary each night before sleeping, and I sometimes wonder how her faith can be so strong having been handed some of life's low punches and still believing in the her " Holy Father " or " The blessed Virgin " but she picks herself up and tells herself as she has told us many times as kids growing up
 " Chin up ", and she gets on with life. 
Mum will in the coming months have to go into full time care, something she dreads, but she also knows I need to with my family, and she does not want to burden her children, she battles this every day I know, I see her quietly thinking. We have a beautiful care facility picked out, one which she has gone into for  respite, but still the permanency of the life change is frightening for her, I wish I could take that fear away from her, but I cant.

Mum and Aunty Stell ( who cared for mum and her 2 siblings when Nan died )
So for me I have decided that right here and now is where I am meant to be, I will get to make all the things I had planned to make and do all the things we had planned to do, when the time is right.
Mum on her 70th birthday, with aunty Mell in white and her best friend Daph in yellow ( both gone to God )
Mum in her 90th year
What I am doing right now is what the universe has had planned for many years I'm thinking.
 So if asked by anyone " what have you done in life that you are most proud of " I can happily say
I shared my days with my mum in the winter of her life, and I will be forever thankful. 
I love you mum, you are a treasure and I am blessed to be able to call you  my Mum. 
Mum before Christmas, she cant do this now
 Treasure each day :-)